12 Beliefs About Goals: Part III
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Part III of III.
Without further ado…
…my remain 4 beliefs about goals…
The Indirect Takes Care of Itself
I’ll tell you my least favorite goal: “I want to lose ___ pounds.”
It’s empty.
It’s boring.
It’s all too commonplace.
And, from what I’ve seen, it doesn’t seem to work.
When I think of a BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL, I think of something that tells a story.
Here’s an example of what I mean: “It had been a lifelong dream of mine to go skydiving, but I couldn’t because I weighed too much. I didn’t want to come to the end of my life not having lived out that dream. So, for 9 months I worked my butt off. I started getting up at 5:30am so that I could get to the gym before work. Getting to the gym made me more conscious of what I was eating during the day. Needing to get to the gym made me go to bed earlier—and, I stopped watching TV. I started parking as far away as I could wherever I went. And, none of it actually felt like I was trying to do anything. I just started doing all these little things—things that I had wanted, attempted, and failed to do for years—simply because I set a goal to jump out of a plane in September. And I did it. It was a blast. And, I want more. I don’t even think about weight any more—I just think about my next goal. I’m currently working my way to hike the Pacific Crest Trail with my sister next summer—something we talked about doing way back in college.”
Set a BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL.
Do the things you’ve always wanted to do.
All that little stuff that you half-heartedly desired to change in your life will take care of itself.
You just have to give yourself a purpose.
Knowledge Gained in the Doing—Not in the Thinking About
Here’s the thing: I’ve seen a lot of speakers in my life.
I love watching speakers—learning from both the good and the bad.
I’ve studied speaking.
I’ve read about speaking.
I’ve joined organizations for speaking.
Over my lifetime, I’ve thought a lot about speaking.
And, well, when push came to shove, none of it really taught me anything about speaking.
Here’s what did:
Sitting down for hours writing out content for my talk.
Putting together slides and assembling notes for my talk.
Standing in front of a mirror and observing myself practicing different parts.
Having Julie and Ezekiel watch me give my talk—yes, multiple times.
Practicing different ways of delivering concepts.
Stretching to try presenting topics as an actor.
Standing up on stage two weeks ago and almost completely blacking out for an hour while delivering my first presentation.
Getting back to my office on Monday and refining and finding the next opportunity to go through the whole process again.
Sure, there is a certain core amount of information—the fundamentals—that we need to study to acquire knowledge.
But, the real learning—the real knowledge—comes in the doing.
When it comes to your goal, stop being a learner.
Start doing—you’ll not only make progress, you’ll learn a lot more in the process.
Consistency is Key
It’s the piggy bank concept.
Little consistent things done on a daily basis over a long period of time lead to BIG changes.
Back in 2016, I set out to read 52 books in a year. Here and there, sure, there were some long reading sessions.
But, you know what I remember more of: always carrying a book with me and reading it at the most random times.
Walking to my office from the gym.
Standing in line at Chipotle.
Waiting for water to boil for dinner.
A penny here.
A penny there.
Done daily for 365 days—that added up to a lot of books.
A penny a day—with a quarter thrown in here and there—goes a long way.
Here’s the thing to remember, though: it works with both qualities of habits—the good and the bad.
Consistency is key: what pennies are you adding to the bank?
“If Everything is Important, Nothing is Important”
I first came across this quote when I read Patrick Lencioni’s book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.
The idea, at least from a team perspective, is that we need to create a Top Priority—a singular most important focus—for a set period of time and that each person on the team needs to play a role in achieving it.
I’ve come to believe that this same idea applies to us as individuals: holding multiple goals simultaneously—in particular, multiple BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOALS—is a tough act.
And, more often than not, little to no progress is made.
I guess this brings us back, in some way, to the first belief about goals that I put out there: When your goal is clear, your direction is clear.
Make it singular.
Have the courage to pick one thing.
Pursue that.
You’ll be amazed at the progress you make to that one thing and how, in doing so, it opens up the door down the road to try the next thing you were trying to simultaneously achieve.
As a fitting close, Julie shared a great proverb with me the other day:
If you chase two hares you will catch none.
So, there are my beliefs.
And, I’m sticking to them.
But, I’m also paying extremely close attention to this whole process—in myself and in others—so that I can deepen my understanding of goals.
And, that’s why I want to hear from you. What are your beliefs?
What do you truly believe about goals?