To Change is to Push Against an Incredible Force
A BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL is a funny thing.
They’re so easy to set. Pursuing them, though, can leave you feeling like you’re drowning. When the going gets tough, it’s too easy to remind yourself that safety is at the shore of the story you’ve always been telling. All you have to do is turn back and comfort awaits.
And, why would you? It makes complete sense. Your goal, after all, was supposed to be a positive thing. The repeated challenges you encounter along the way are anything but. The goal-chasing process—the thing that was easy and started out as fun—has turned into something negative.
I keep thinking of the last scene from The Truman Show. Christof (Ed Harris) throws everything at Truman (Jim Carrey) as he tries to escape his current story.
“Thar she blows,” Simeon (Paul Giamatti) says to Christof with a look of shame and defeat as he runs the “weather program.”
We see Truman, repeatedly tossed around, trying to navigate the storm.
“Give me some lightning” Christof demands. “Again. Hit him again.”
Truman is thrown overboard. But, he persists. His goal is too clear.
Christof looks on in intrigue as Truman makes it back to his boat and wraps the boat’s ropes around him. “Is that the best you can do?” Truman shouts at the force trying to hold him back — the force trying to keep him from making the change that he knows is available to him.
“You’re gonna have to kill me.” Truman taunts.
Infuriated, Christof makes one last bid to stop Truman.
“How close is he?” Christof asks.
“Very close.” Simeon says.
“Capsize him. Tip him over.” Christof instructs.
Everyone in the studio pleads with Christof.
Simeon refuses.
Christof takes over and slides the Wind Intensity to Danger.
Truman turns to see a wall of water coming at him.
And then another.
And another.
Christof looks on as Truman’s boat finally tips over.
When it comes to your BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL, why stay in the boat like Truman and risk drowning?
Because you have two choices:
You can keep telling the story that you’ve always been telling or you can finally go after the story that you’ve always wanted to tell and, more importantly, the story that you know that you can tell.
One of those stories involves comfort.
The other involves pushing against a force determined to hold you back.
Steven Pressfield calls it Resistance:
“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us.
Between the two stands Resistance.”
Truman persists and eventually walks out of The Truman Show into a new reality.
It’s a reality that we don’t get to see.
It’s a reality that the viewers of The Truman Show don’t get to see.
And that’s because what sits on the other side of the wall of The Truman Show set is a completely different story.
I think it’s easy, when chasing after our goals, to fall into the trap of imagining that everything is going to be perfect along the way. And this is the exact reason why it is so easy to set goals. It’s fun to romanticize the story that we know we are capable of telling.
But, maybe the romantic part of the story only comes after a host of challenges—waves, wind, lightning—are overcome in the pursuit of our goals. And, maybe that’s why so many people give up so easily on their goals. Because pushing through those parts can feel anything but romantic.
The challenges can be demoralizing.
The challenges can seem insurmountable.
The challenges can feel like a force telling us that the thing that we desire—the story that we know that we can tell—really isn’t attainable. That story that we know that we can tell is, in reality, just a fictional story in our mind—a figment of our imagination—that has no bearing in our reality.
So, we should give up and just keep telling the story that we’ve always been telling.
What if, though, you started seeing yourself as Truman?
When those forces start to push, maybe that’s when you should double down on your BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL.
When the forces want to keep you stuck, rather than turning back and going to shore, stand up proudly in your boat and shout with a smile, “Is that the best you can do?”
You’ve gone back before. You know how that story turns out—you’ve been telling it for year. This time around, when chasing after your BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL, you owe it to yourself to see the story through.
Stay in the boat.