Remain Rational: Tame Your Emotions to Achieve Your Goals
“Your attention is pulled this way and that,
and without the rational standard to guide your decisions,
you never quite reach the goals that you set.”
— Robert Greene, The Laws of Human Nature
On Monday, I was ready to give up on my BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL.
Because it’s BIG.
It’s SCARY.
And because this one seems particularly HAIRY.
Needless to say, my emotions were having their way with me and my goal on Monday. My attention was certainly “pulled this way and that.”
Emotions are complicated things.
They can lead us to tell ourselves all sorts of stories.
When we’re feeling motivated and confident, these stories can be amazing dreams and goals that we envision.
When we’re scared, stressed, and anxious, though, these stories can get pretty dark.
It’s fair to say that on Monday, I certainly wasn’t seeing myself as a lion (Lucky cat! See above).
I wasn’t seeing much of anything.
But, last year I stumbled on Robert Greene, author of Mastery and The Laws of Human Nature, amongst other New York Times Best Sellers.
If I were to sum up Robert Greene’s books in one sentence it’d be:
To succeed, remain rational in an emotional world
In fact, in Greene’s The Laws of Human Nature, the first law is Master Your Emotional Self.
Greene argues that our emotions, especially our base emotions — hunger for power, attention, and money — dominate us. And, when we don’t develop skills to counteract these emotions, we behave irrationally. So much so, that our emotions can deter us from our goals:
“Irrational people reveal in their lives negative patterns — mistakes that keep repeating, unnecessary conflicts that follow them wherever they go, dreams and projects that are never realized, and desires for change that are never translated into concrete action.”
On Monday, I spiraled into irrationality.
“Maybe I’m just not motivated enough.”
“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
“Maybe I should just scrap the whole idea.”
Since my emotions we pulling my attention all over the place, my thoughts — my story — were all over the place.
Luckily, though, emotions can be tamed.
When it comes to chasing after your goals, you can practice strategies to counteract your emotions so that you remain rational — even when things get BIG, SCARY, and HAIRY!
Strategy: Be the Rider and the Horse
It’s important to remember that emotions aren’t all bad.
Your emotions can help you.
When it comes to your BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL, emotions are often the impetus to get you fired up to go after the story you’ve always wanted to tell.
The trick is to find the right balance — the optimal balance — between thinking and feeling.
So, what can you do?
When your emotions start to create stories that fall out of line with you goals, visualize yourself riding a horse. Greene suggests:
“The horse is our emotional nature continually compelling us to move. This horse has tremendous energy and power, but without a rider it cannot be guided; it is wild, subject to predators, and continually heading into trouble. The rider is our thinking self. Through training and practice, it holds the reins and guides the horse,
transforming this powerful animal energy into something productive. The one without the other is useless. Without the rider, no directed movement or purpose. Without the horse, no energy, no power. In most people the horse dominates, and the rider is weak. In some people the rider is too strong, holds the reins too tightly, and is afraid to occasionally let the animal go into a gallop. The horse and the rider much work together.”
When chasing after your goals, be the rider AND the horse.
So, what does this look like?
Well, let’s go back to Monday.
The horse was running wild and I was ready to pack it up.
Overwhelmed, anxious, and scared, I was paralyzed.
Until I grabbed the reins by sitting down at my computer and using the emotion to take action toward my BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL. And, bit by bit, I had a blog post written in hopes that in some way — large or small — it helps you continue — now or in the future — on your path to achieving your own BIG, SCARY, HAIRY GOAL.
Embrace the process — and remember to remain rational.
I sure am!