You Are Your Habits
I’ve been thinking a lot about habits lately. The little behaviors that we do—consciously and unconsciously—on a regular basis.
Some I’m proud of: the ones that I know help me.
I’ve got some bad ones, too, though. The ones that have hurt me for years.
At 41, when I reflect on the habits that have been around for a long time, it’s easy to see how they’ve shaped who I am today.
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” — Lao Tzu
And maybe habits—whether good or bad—can serve as a starting point for us as we think about our goals. They can help us identify who we are today.
And, likewise, maybe habits can unlock what we need to do to tell the story that we’ve always wanted to tell.
To achieve our goals, we need to think small. We need to change and implement little things. We need to focus on our current habits as well as the habits that we need to engage in.
How can we do that?
A Goal Setting Activity
Investment (time) in Yourself: 1–2 hours
1. Who are you today?
On a sheet of paper, list out all of your habits: the good and the bad. Be ruthless with yourself. What are those little things that you do—consciously and unconsciously—on a regular basis? Think back over the years. List out all the things that you have done for as long as you can remember. This list has to include the things that you’re proud of as well as the things that you’re not so proud of. No one is going to see this list—it’s just for you.
2. Who do you want to be: What’s the story that you’ve always wanted to tell?
On a new sheet of paper, identify who you want to be. What are your goals? What’s the story that you’ve always wanted to tell—the one that you’ve always thought that you could tell? Dream big. Let it stare you in the face.
3. Identify habits: What goes in the middle?
Put your list of habits—who you are today—on the left side of your desk. Put the story that you’ve always wanted to tell—who you want to be—on the right side of your desk. Using as many pieces of paper as needed, fill in the gap between the paper on the left and the paper on the right by listing out all the habits that you need in your life to get you to where you want to go. Reflect hard on what you need to stop doing and what you need to startdoing. Create a list of behaviors that you need to engage in that overwhelms you. It’s okay, goals should scare you.
4. Pick one habit.
You can’t do it all. Pick one habit and simply start there. Work tirelessly—day after day after day—on that habit. Let that behavior become something that you just do—without much or any thought—before moving on to the next behavior.
This may take a week.
It may take a month.
It may take a year.
It may take years.
It doesn’t matter.
Remember: