Whispering Sweet Nothings: Name It To Tame It
Sometimes those closest to us tell us the things we need—but maybe don’t want—to hear.
“Reed, you play the victim role a lot.”
I think that’s why I fell in love with Julie—the sweet nothings she’s been whispering in my ear since 2018.
For me, it was a pivotal moment—one of those moments that made me go, “hmmmm!?!”
And, the moment stuck with me.
I started to pay attention…
…to my words…
…to my thoughts…
…and to my perspectives.
And then, at the start of this year, I began working with a business coach.
“Reed, I want you to take this assessment—to discover what’s holding you back: your Saboteurs!”
And, there it was again: Victim.
My #1 offender.
There’s a silly saying in coaching: “You’ve gotta name it to tame it.”
Well, between Julie’s sweet whisperings and the assessment my coach had me take, I certainly had a name for what gets in my way.
And, by having a name for it, I was able to continue to pay attention…
…to my words…
…to my thoughts…
…and to my perspectives.
In having a name for it—my Saboteur—I’ve been empowered to take control of it by asking myself:
“Where does this show up?”
“When do I most often play this role?”
“How’s it been holding me back?”
In others words, I’ve been able to work on taming it.
Creating change—going after your goals—starts with self-awareness.
We have to first get a grasp of who we are today—the good and the bad—in order to be able to adjust the necessary dials so that we can become who we are striving to be.
When it comes to the bad, Shirzad Chamine has done us all a favor in helping us name the mindsets—our Saboteurs—that are likely holding us back.
There’s nine of them:
Controller
Hyper-Achiever
Restless
Stickler
Pleaser
Hyper-Vigilant
Avoider
Victim
Hyper-Rational
And we all have at least one or two top Saboteurs!
Without out getting too Freudian on you, your Saboteurs are likely something that protected you early on in life, but today limit your ability to be the best version of yourself.
The question is:
What Saboteurs are limiting your ability to achieve your peak performance?
Wanna Find Out?
Take this free assessment.
And then start paying attention…
…to your words…
…to your thoughts…
…and to your perspectives.
Ask yourself the hard questions:
“Where does this Saboteur show up?”
“When do I most often play this role?”
“How’s this Saboteur holding me back?”
My hope is that this week’s blog gives you a way to start naming what’s getting in your way so that you can tame it and set yourself free.
