Stand a Little Bit Taller
I came. I saw. I conquered.
I’m currently sitting on a plane on my way back from Denver to Minneapolis. In May, a client reached out to do a team development session with their senior executive team.
At the time, I immediately said yes.
This was a great opportunity, I love the client and the organization, and it’s the kind of work I want to be doing—and know that I can be doing with big impact.
I keep learning the hard way—the uncomfortable way—that sometimes my commitments make me really start to question myself.
In other words, sometimes I say yes to things that sound good in theory but on paper they are waaaaay out of my comfort zone.
And I immediately regret my decision.
“You know,” I say to myself, “I actually realized that I like it better when things are comfortable.”
Over the past 5 years I’ve had the privilege to coach leaders within all levels of an organization—and help them radically transform their impact.
I’ve also had the opportunity to lead large groups and teams through sessions focused on leadership and team development—and they actually get something out of it.
I’ve never, however, been in a situation where I would be tasked with guiding leaders—all senior leaders (i.e., directors all the way up to the CEO)—through a leadership and team development topic that they desperately needed to work on in order to improve their effectiveness.
Talk about imposter syndrome.
I didn’t feel qualified.
I didn’t feel experienced enough.
I didn’t feel capable.
I didn’t feel like I had anything to add.
I didn’t feel confident.
And, frankly, all of this made me so damn uncomfortable.
I’m talking like “I want to crawl in a hole and completely disappear” uncomfortable.
So uncomfortable that for nearly two months, this event popped into my mind at least once a day and kept adding food to that monstrous pit of uncomfortableness.
Worse yet, as the weeks passed, and the days got closer to the event, all things uncomfortable were ever-present.
The last 3 nights of sleep were nothing short of miserable—wake up around 2am and be in and out of sleep for a few hours with thoughts racing through my head about the event.
You see, this is the part where I start to question myself:
“Who am I to coach others to overcome things and chase after big goals when I, myself, can barely hold things together when chasing ofter the BIG?”
“Um, Reed, why in the world are you telling us how increasingly fragile and small you felt over the last two months?”
Because that question to myself—“Who am I to coach others…”—is a lie.
A fictitious belief I’ve simply created.
Now, sure, there would be truth in it if the uncomfortable totally crippled me every time and I, subsequently, ran away every time—and then sat here and preached to you about stretching yourself.
But that’s not reality.
What is reality is that I, too, really struggle with limiting beliefs.
I, too, am stretching myself and forcing myself to face things that stretch me way out of my comfort zone.
I, too, can get really beat down during the process and question all feasibility in my goal.
I, too, have to experience—and sit in—the struggle that accompanies growth, change, and peak performance.
I, too, have to feel a bit beat up from time to time.
Because when I move through the uncomfortable—no matter what—I come away on the other side a transformed person.
And the same goes for you, when you move through the uncomfortable—no matter what—you come away on the other side a transformed person.
Today, I showed up and did my best.
That’s all I can do at this point.
And I also prepared the best way that I knew how to prepare with the information that I had at this point.
As a result, I came in and executed on a commitment despite being riddled with anxiety to the point of wanting to “no show” this morning.
Today, I saw what I really can do when I just jump into the lion pit—and keep learning that, despite all the worry of harm, I keep walking away unscathed.
And, today, I conquered myself and my limiting beliefs.
And, in doing so, I fly home feeling…
…a little more qualified
…a little more experienced
…a little more capable
…a little more confident
…a little more like I have something to add
…and a little bit more comfortable along this journey toward peak performance.
Today, I stand a little big taller.
Yes, you’re going to struggle.
Yes, you’re going to question yourself.
Yes, you’re going to want to run away and hide.
But, if I can do it, God knows you can do it, too.
And I bet you’ll find, too, that you walk away unscathed and stand a little bit taller.
Conquer.